Thursday, November 24, 2011

#46 - Are swearwords verbs?

Soooo... I thought curses were meant to be just words you yell out when you stub your toe. But I hear them used all over as verbs and nouns.

Maybe it is time people cut back.

#45 - Radio Ads.

Was driving today and I had the radio on. All of a sudden I heard a gut wrenching crash and people screaming. I slammed my brakes and the guy behind me nearly hit me. I turned the radio down right away and the screaming left. DON'T YOU HATE THAT!?

Why do they make ads that could get you killed!?


Monday, July 18, 2011

#44 - Eye doctor prank.

Just got out from seeing the eye doctor and I fell for it again.

They did 3 tests..

The first test I feel I aced. All I had to do is stare at the little red dot without looking away. Easy.

The third test was a little tougher. I looked at the green dot ad it took pictures of my eye. As far as an endurance challenge, I think I impressed him.

But that middle challenge, I don't know about that one. I can see why they do the first and last one. They are so methodical and careful as they do their tests. But for the 2nd one they sit you down, line up a black nozzle right at your eye and do that stupid puff of air into your eye. I am convinced that it is the big gag.

Next time I go in for the appointment, I am going to stop them at the air puff thing and tell them I am in on the joke.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

#43 - Bear Problems.

Children chased away the young bears away at the campground last week.

Later on, a bear was pushing onto the side of a tent and the guy inside punched it in the face!

Cool AND befuddling.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

#42 - Coin collecting.

Did you know that f you have an old 1909 Lincoln Penny and it has VDB in tiny letters on the back, you might be sitting on a few thousand dollars? And that isn't even the most valuable one out there. Not at all! People spend hundreds of thousands on old pennies that have been circulated and look beat to heck!

Befuddling. You want some nice pennies? I have a bunch of brand new ones i will give you for free!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

#41 - You are missing out.

One of the things that befuddles is when people think that life ends when you get married.

We have all heard it, some have said it...

1. "I would never get married so young. I want to travel."

2. "I would never get married before 30. I love being a bachelor."

3. "I can't get married now. I need to focus on my schooling."

4. "Marraige makes things too complicated and stressful."

Ok... to person #1. Why would anyone want to go on a trip alone?! When you are married, you ALWAYS have a travel partner. You could argue that there is MORE opportunity for travel. I would have never gone to London or other places alone. It is great to have a travel person.

To person #2. Stop fooling yourself. You might like it when you are hanging out with the boys, but do you REALLY like it?

To person #3. You can't go to school when you are married? Weak sauce excuse!

To person #4. It really does solve a lot of the problems and concerns of single life.

To close up, I don't think there is anything wrong with enjoying your youth. But I think it is unbelievable that people look at getting marriage in the light they do. Since being married I have traveled, gone to school, AND have had awesome summers! Holy smokes!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

#40 - Ice man.

So,  since I am working at a campground for the summer, I naturally get to meet lots of people. And they all have a name. There is the candy man, the frito-lay man, the water-man, the wood man, the pepsi man and (worst of them all)… the ice man.

He came in. This is the dialogue between us.

Me: "Hey there. You are here to fill the ice-container?"

Ice-guy: "Uh huh."

Me: "Awesome, looks like we just need the one filled for today."

Ice-guy: *sighs* and forrows his brow. "Just one!"

Me: "Yes, please! Those are my instructions."

Ice-guy: "I usually do more than that."

Me: "We just want the one for today."

Ice-guy: *sighs* "Fine. Why haven't you guys put the handle on the ice door! I gave you one about a year ago to put on."

Me: "Sorry?"

Ice-guy: *shakes head* "I don't get it."

Wow. And that is the ice guy. He must have a hard life.

Friday, May 13, 2011

#39 - No offense.

Doesn't "no offense" almost exclusively mean "yes offense?"

Just saying.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

#37 and #38- Good ol' days and our youth.

Violent crimes, homicides, and property crimes have steadily decreased in North America since 1993. However, at the same time the media has increased its coverage of these crimes nearly 10-fold. It is only natural for one to think things are getting worse and worse and wish for "the good-old days," but in many ways, those days don't exist. There are so many things which are now better than ever but we are filled with fear because of the media.

It would be silly to be ignorant enough to say that nothing bad is happening in the world. The world is in a constant scary state. But to people even know where the world has been in the last 1000 years?! Our young people today do too much texting, facebook, and video games. "I wish people were like they were in the good-ol' days." However, what were the "good-ol' days like."

How about the trail of tears in 1838? That was some good old days for the Native Americans.

How about how good things were for African Americans people? "2 4 6 8 we don't want to integrate."

Nothing bad happened in the 1940's to 1950's right?

How about the renaissance?

People used to be decent back in the past, right? Not really. There are always nutcases that are doing unspeakable things in the world right now. The media will always let us know this. But as a whole, in North America, crimes ARE decreasing. I believe that it is a wonderful time to be alive.

Sure our children are becoming snobby and detatched. But that could be because things are so good for them right now that they need SOMETHING to push against. I think it is not appropriate behaviour that people are so upset with "children these days." It is silly to think that this generation of youth is worse than they ever have been. Maybe parents are the worst generation of parents that have ever been. They are born into the world we place for them.

Wow, this has been a 2 part befuddlement.

Monday, April 18, 2011

36# - Original Star Trek.

I've been watching the Original Star Trek series again.

Befuddling how entertaining it is.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

35# - Clench and bop him one.

This video has gone viral. I am happy for the one who fought bad but also very sad for the bully who will have a hard time shaking that image.

Many 'day-care' people would say, "you should just walk away and tell an adult." Yes, that may work the first time, but if it happens again, something else needs to happen. Be it, telling more adults, or clenching your fist as tight as you can and bopping one. There are people out there that are attacking the bullied boy, Casey, for fighting back. I think that is stupid.

Let me tell you something about being a boy in elementary school. It is different than in high school. In high school, if there is a bully, it is probably because there is something truly disturbed and "mean-spirited" about the individual. You can usually just walk away and things will cool off. But elementary school kids are different. Bully's like this scrawny kid, usually are just trying to be cool. So, they look at 3 potential people to bully and will go after the one who is least likely to do anything back. The passive boys are drawn towards like sharks to blood. Why? Because young bully's are wimpy and don't want to be hurt themselves. Yes, he was going WAY over the line, but it was "a show." I believe that in cases like this, you SHOULD go to the adults to get something fixed. But if that doesn't work? 

Bop in good and bop him hard. There is a good chance you will get a little beat up at that time. But NEXT time, when that same elementary school bully is looking at 3 people to bully, he will not go towards the person that will punch back.

I do not condone fighting, but i will be darned if my boy is going to be continually be bullied without standing up for himself.

p.s - on a side note, I do not think bully videos, like this one, should be glorified. That causes a whole new problem.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

34# - Rebecca Black

(Watch the video first before reading.)

This is the worst thing I have seen all month! I feel so bad for this young person. She is setting records for most disliked video of all time! The like:dislike ratio is 1:10. That unheard of!!

First thing, I know this is sounding harsh but it will be a tough career when her nose is exploded out of your head from singing the way she is. This is sounding bad but there needs to be some reality here. You can bash Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber for their music, but at least there is a semblance of something that is listenable to somebody who isn't completely off their rocker!

Did she write this? If somebody is going to promote this poor girl and help her our, start by writing something that isn't fully retarded. It sounds like she is narrating new things that she is learning as they pop into her head.

Yesterday is thursday.
Today is friday.
We we we so excited.
Tomorrow is Saturday.

NO!! Stop! BAD!

I am not helping the cause because I have helped promote it by watching the video a few times. Is she just saying what is going on in her day.

There are so many negative comments in the video that it is impossible to keep up with them because there are millions of people viewing the video each day.

I feel bad for her parents who have exposed this poor girls singing to the world. It is important to love and cheer for your child but it is so important to protect them also.


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

#33 - Grab a little person and chuck him.

Sometime in the mid 80's there a sport that emerged that seems so awesome that is hard to fathom how great it would be. 

How great you ask?

This sport would ruin all other sports for you. There would be no interest in any other sport and that whole industry would crash in the wake of this new sport. What is it?

.:Dwarf Tossing!!:.

Starting and made popular in pubs, the rules to dwarf tossing are thus, grab a little person and throw him as far as you can. Awesome. Don't worry though, they are padded and covered in velcro while they are chucked at the velcro-covered walls. They can also make a pretty penny, up to $100,000 a year being tossed.

The world record toss was done in England to a 98 pound who was hurtled 11 feet 5 inches.

Wow… that is crazy. But do you want to know what is befuddling?

Soon after the hype of dwarf tossing was reaching epic proportions, it became banned. The bill proposed a fine of up to $5,000 and imprisonment for up to 6 months.

You know what? If I could get paid to be thrown at velcro, I would. We do with what we got. As long as it was in good spirits, what the heck, lets watch a good old dwarf toss. But, alas, it is not to be.

Monday, March 21, 2011

#32 - Golf (Sports Week)

Not dogging on Golf and the talent people have that play it, but a sport?

You don't have to be the strongest, fastest, most agile.

There are no defenders.

You don't carry your own clubs.

The crowd isn't aloud to TALK during a swing.

A sport? Psssh… befuddling.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

#31 - Tennis (Sports week)

Isn't there something truly awesome about sports? The yelling, the hitting, the running, close calls, the chearing, it is all awesome.

But, some sports have me a little baffled. One of these sports is Tennis. I just don't get it.

First point is worth 15.
Second is worth 15.
Next is worth 10.
Next is… not really sure but 0 points is "love."

Why isn't it just 0 points, 1 points, another 1 point , another 1 point, you win.

I could even handle if every point was worth 15. But why is it changed up? In basketball, different shots at different times and areas are worth different points. Same goes for football. Why do they need to change from 15 to 10? And why "love." Just say "0".

Awe well. Not a huge thing but it still is a little strange. Even if it IS tradition, what was the guy 500 years ago thinking?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

30# - Poopy dilemna.

(Submitted by Thomas.)

"Hey Dan, I was thinking its pretty befuddling when I go into a restroom and there is some poop in the toilet but no toilet paper. What did they wipe with haha? Its weird to me."

It's weird to all of us Thomas, it's weird to all of us.

29# - Your team was just R*ped.

Argh! Does this bug anyone else?

That word, which I don't even like typing, shouldn't be included into sporting events. But it is, and it is popular. Do me a favour and smack anyone who uses it.

28# - Never learned to run.

Ok, so this might not seem like much. But it is a biggie.

Due to the nature of this blog I have become much more aware of the people around me. Out of the time I spend away, I am usually observing people at a University. I have noticed something that disturbs my poor little heart. Here is the summary or my data. I see…

1. Stiff "calf-raise" running. Their ankles are doing way too much work and there is unnecessary "up/down" movement.

2. Ultra "feminine shimmy" running. Too much rotating of hips. Sometimes with hands up, palms forward, and fingers crunched in.

3. The long strider.

Don't these parents teach their children to run? Don't these children have recess in elementary school and learn to run there? Who doesn't know how to do a simple run?

Not learning to throw a ball is also befuddling but not as much as the simple art of… "moving quicker."

27# - "Slow and steady wins the race."

"Show and steady wins the race."


Have these people ever even SEEN race? What kinda race are they talking about? In every race I have ever seen you go as fast as possible. When I eventually have children, and my boy is at the starting line for the first time, want to know what I am going to say?

"GO!!! GO FAST!!! RUN!!!"

Then I am going to laugh at the other parents who are scratching their heads, confused that their boy came dead last going "slow and steady."

26# - 1 seat buffer breakers.

(Refer to Befuddlement #4 for and further reference needed.)

When the theater is not full, nor is getting full, no person from Party A should sit in the seat right next to any person from another Party B. If I am with somebody, and you do not know me, why are you sitting by me too?! This is crazy. Do some people just need to have a person on both sides of them?

This happened to me yesterday and it almost ruined the movie for me.

On a side note: the 1 time I laughed in the movie was incidentally when nobody else laughed. Come on! Isn't a random punch in the face funny anymore?!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

25# - Slinky Mayhem.

Ever had a slinky? ME TOO!

Ever had a slinky that gets "one"… not many… but a single tangled spot in it? When this happens, especially with a metal slinky, you know you are in trouble.

What happens next is you try to fix the one tangle and, unless you are an experienced engineer and mathematician, you are toast. You might as well just throw it away unless you are ok with risking spending multiple hours in an atrocious rage shouting expletives. I bet the inventor of the slinky is laughing in his grave. How the heck can such a simple problem be compound expand and multiply on itself in the mere seconds used to try and fix it. Befuddling! I don't know of anything that can get so wrong so fast.

Best thing to do is walk away.

24# - "Modern" baby names.

In my generation, my peers were full of Greg's, Jim's, Brian's, Thomas's and *ahem* Daniels. They were… you know… names.

But now-a-days we are hearing baby names that fall into strange categories.

1. The "what-we-stand-for" name.
People with this type of name have names based on a certain religious standards or ethical principal that really strike them hard. Now, there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Those can be powerful and defining standards in ones life. But something to think about before naming somebody Integrity, Faith, or Hope. I even heard of a guy named Freedom! What is next? Democracy, Honesty, or, Nice? What about if it goes the opposite way and turns into names like Insanity or Perverted? In the end, instead stamping the "what-we-stand-for" name on your child forever, just decide to legally change your own name if you like it so much. Better yet… get a plaque made!

2. The "thats-a-unique-sounding" name.
Under this category are names of children who had parents that absolutely can't stand that there could ever be another person with their child's names. Instead of the names that are used by 98% of the world, they make up names like Jimx, Tybon, Lisrock, and Beauti. I could go on for hours. But, there is a reason these names aren't used yet, at least by sane people, they AREN'T NAMES! They are just a illogical mash of letters. Before you name your child, think, have I heard this name? If not, why haven't I heard it.

3. The "clever" name.
This is the type of name that is used because of the family last name they have. Because of the last name, certain first names should be off limits. Like being named Crystal Ball, Rick Shaw, or, Randy Guy. Funny for a minute? Yes. Funny forever? No.

I believe it will get worse before it gets better. What about George Costanza's "Seven"? Or just the letter "P"? Or lets throw numbers in there! How about Kevin but spelt K7? Coooool…

People are free to do what they will. We live in modern times. But what was wrong with the good old days where names were names and things were things? They will be missed.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

#22 - Oscar dresses.

Watched the Oscars a week ago.

Don't understand the prices for these dresses. $100,000 for a dress? What does it do?

People buy the most incredible cars with some of the state of the art tech for $100,000. What is going on! I don't get it.

#21 Chunks of celebrities

I heard that Justin Beiber got a haircut and his hair is being sold on the internet for $12,000.

Seriously? Who is buying it?

I don't understand idolizing people like that. I like Michael Jackson music but I would pay to keep his hair out of my house! What is next? Kobe Bryants boogers? Obama's pulled teeth?

WHO CARES! You can admire people without wanting chunks of them, can't you?


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

#20 Coolest kids in Elementary School.

When I was in Elementary school I was awesome! Want to know why?

I was a fast runner! In a game of tag, keep away, etc, I was always a hot commodity. Therefore, I was cool.

Then I got to Junior High and it all changed. Nobody cared anymore. Isn't being good at tag cool anymore? What is wrong with society?!

#19 You can't be 110% sure.

When did society decide that 100% wasn't enough?

We get that people are VERY sure of themselves. So much, in fact, that they somehow muster up an extra 10% with nearly everything they can do.

Hear is the deal. You can have a 110% increase in sales. You can have a 1,000,000% increase in miles ran this month! But you can't be 101% sure, give a 999% effort, or give 110% guarantee. It just doesn't work. We need to draw a line. The math doesn't add up. 100% is 100%.

When people say to rate something from 1 to 10, the number 11 is not an option. It really doesn't kill me that people say this, but, at the same time, once you start noticing, it is hard to stop.

Monday, February 14, 2011

#18 Earphones giving out.

Ok… so it isn't befuddling especially, but it is annoying every time it happens.

One earphone gives out and you need to twist the end of it until it works. Then it eventually comes to a point where you need to be always fiddling with it for it to work. Anyway, isn't it annoying when that happens?

#17 When you can't control your own dreams.

Have you every known you were dreaming, decided to take advantage of it by doing something incredible, like flying, winning a million dollars, or winning an epic ninja battle, but something stopped you?

That happened to me a few days ago. It was during that 15 minute sleep state after your snooze alarm that has very vivid dreams. I realized I was dreaming, and decided that I was going to go out for a little jet pack flight. AWESOME! This was going to be fun. There was only one problem…

I couldn't put my pants on!!! They were like negatively charged magnets for my feet. I just couldn't do it. This went on and on until I woke up, disappointed of course. My awesome flight was cancelled cause I couldn't get out the door with pants on.


Friday, February 11, 2011

#16 A la creme.

Do you know what desert sounds good? Pommes au Four.

Why is that? It has a french name. Even though all it means is Baked Apples, people buy into the fancy names (some more than others). If I had a restaurant and wanted to soak every little penny out of these types of people, this is what I would do.

I would change my menu of...

- Hamburger...............$5.00
- Nachos.....................$7.00
- Vanilla Ice cream.....$4.00

to this....

- Hamberg du yumm..........$10.00
- Ques aux Nach................ $14.00
- Creme a la Creme Vanil...$8.00

Why change the names and jack the prices? Because these people fall for foreign names and will pay for it. It is kinda ridiculous.

Wanna know a good desert? A Dairy Queen Blizzard!

#15 Pro Choice vs Pro Life?

Hmmm… "pro choice" or "pro life"?

Can't I be pro choice AND life?

I don't think it is an issue between the 2. Isn't it about being for or against abortion? Not very fair labels if you ask me.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

#14 Booty and Spill.

There are some people on daytime television that I just cannot watch. I won't say their names but one rhymes with Judge Booty and the other is Dr. Spill.

The reason I can't stand Booty and Spill is that they have people on their shows that clearly already have issues. These people need help. But we all have to remember that what sells on TV. Confrontations and 'belittling' sells. Most of the time the contestants ARE out of their minds but the thing that drives me bonkers is when Booty or Spill gets the whole audience applauding by saying "you better shut your mouth" or "I have a PHD and a Masters, so you better sit and listen."

These people are completely out of their element in the first place. They need help. The last thing they need is an audience full of people applauding at them. The audience selectively hears what the show tells you to hear and tries to get us to loose any compassion we have for people and hate them. Ganging up on people just isn't cool in the first place. It befuddles me that people like to see it happened to others.

Monday, January 31, 2011

#13 Cheapest wings in town!

There is a situation we have all been in while in a group situation. You are with friends and decide to go eat. Everybody decides on a fast-food restaurant and there is always one guy that goes "let's go to ______! Their wings are 12 cents instead of 18." Then they have a look like they have enlightened the world. They look at you like you would be an idiot to buy pizza from ______ or burgers from ______.

Well I have an opinion on that.

1. You get what you pay for. Sometimes you don't want to eat dusty cardboard wings. When I dated my wife, we certainly didn't go for steak every night, but when it came to eating out, our first concern was eating good.

2. Proximity. When choosing a place to eat, I generally narrow it down to places that are nearby. Why? Because it saves money in the commute. What is the point of wasting $10-$20 of gas to get the cheapest wings in the state/province when you can save the money to get wings that are actually good at home. On the other side, if the wings stink at home, could be fun to spend the extra cash once in a while to eat good wings.

3. They are wings! A few extra cents to a dollar or 2 is often worth it. I applaud being frugal. I really do. But we aren't searching for a home or a car.

In the end, I bought a box of 20 frozen steaks for $15 once. No joke. Biggest mistake of my life. Was not worth a penny. Guys, girls don't care if you are bragging to them that these are the cheapest wings in the state. What do you think that really says to them? I have never really had tons of extra bucks to spare, when I spend money, I like to get a few good things instead of a thousand crappy things.

#12 High hands.

Guys that dance with there hands higher than their head. Sky jabs/chops and window wipers are what girls do.

Guys... Stop it.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

#11 To be continued...

I watched Prison Break for 3 and a half seasons following loose end after loose end. I lost interest.

Every single episode I sat and thought, "oh boy, it is gonna happen! Finally the resolution!" Then the same thing would happen every time. By halfway through the 40 minute episode you begin to think this will be the climactic point in the series. Then when there is 10 minute left you look at the clock and want to throw your remote at the wall because you KNOW that they are about to make you wait for next week.

I just mention Prison Break because it dragged on so long that me and practically every other follower I know of gave up mid 2nd or 3rd season. This happens in countless movies and television shows. Loose ends and 'to be continued's' bother me to no end.

They confuse me and I rarely am interested after the wait.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

#10 Are we still hip?

- Justin Bieber
- Miley Cyrus
- Kesha
- The Twilight series

What is similar with all of the above things? Young girls love them. We (guys) hate them.

I have been trying to figure out why it was that guys, mostly young, seem so irritated with the above things. Upon thinking about it, I came up with one realization. I can't think of one song from Bieber, Cyrus, or Kesha. I also have never watched or read the Twilight series. Regardless of this, I have definitely taken part of the thought that they were annoying. But why?

In simple form: people, maybe guys more than girls, will hate anything that girls aged 8-13 absolutely love. There is nothing we can do about it. We must just accept it. Whether we like it or not, it will just happen. If this demographic goes and decides tomorrow that they are addicted to the NFL, we will absolutely decide that we can't stand it. We also inherently hate anything that the younger generation holds dear.

Remember when Titanic came out? What happened? Ever guy around the world had a duty to hate Leonardo DiCaprio. But now that the young girls have moved on, we don't mind him. In fact, his movies can be awesome.

Older people hate facebook and texting. Why? Because younger people embrace it.
Why do girls think action movies and explosions are stupid? Cause guys love it.
Why do guys hate chick flicks? Cause girls live for them.

It is time that we accept that people are different and changing. It is also time that we all accept that young people, aged 8-13, are cooler and 'hipper' than us. They know what it cool these days, we don't. They can smell the new big thing in the air. I listened to a couple Justin Bieber songs and you know what? There are some catchy tunes there. I am not about to go see a Twilight movie but I will now accept and appreciate that young people love it.

Are we still hip? - No, no we are not. Hating stuff because it is popular is befuddling.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

#9 Sharing too much information on Facebook.

Facebook is awesome.
Getting engaged is awesome.
Updating your facebook status 1 hour after you get engaged is not awesome.

Enjoy your engagement! We don't need the update quite so promptly. And when you are on your honeymoon, we don't need the status updates either.

Facebook is a great way to see what people are up to but honestly people. There are times when you don't need to update your page quite so promptly.

Going back to being engaged. Who do you really want to share your life with?

Your fiancee?    ..or random people from you chemistry class?

On a sidenote. We NEVER want to see pictures of your ultrasound. Thats just gross. Pictures of your baby's bare butt, or your huge bare pregnant belly are gross too. Cute to you maybe, gross to us.

Friday, January 7, 2011

#8 BadmiTTon vs. badmiNton.

A whole 'nother.
That's no fair.

…and my least favorite…

Bad-mitton. Look at the word badminton and sound it out. Bad-miN-ton.

I know that we all say things strange. I certainly say comfterble when I know it sounds retarded. Oh well. Lets shake our heads at ourselves.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

#7 Too many annoying facts/'one-uppers'

For all who believe that knowledge is power, I applaud you. Learning and experiencing is one of the most gratifying things life has to offer. The thought that we are becoming stronger and more adept is awesome! However, not being able to zip-it and give us a break is not awesome.

There are a few ways that you sneak your little annoying facts or bits of information into the conversation.

1. Openly spitting it out. I didn't ask how many yards Marcus Allen ran for the Raiders between '84 and '86, or who the 2nd lead singer of Pezheads was. Cut it out.

2. The 'one-upper'. Completely worthy of it's own befuddlement post, the one-upper is a person who responds to anybody's experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story but with a more grand or horrible outcome. Cut it out.

3. (Lastly and the most annoying) Any time we are telling a person of something new we have learned, these people immediately follow up with "you didn't know that?" Cut it out.

Are your comments interesting? They absolutely could be. But if you often find that conversations are cut short after something you have just said or shared, here is a simple suggestion.

Ask yourself "am I saying this to look smarter than everybody else in the room?"
                     …and more importantly…
                     "does this comment warrant a swift kick in the crotch?" If so, cut it out.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

#6 Child beauty pageants.

Is there really an explanation needed as why this is confusing to people? Those parents are crazy!

100% befuddling.

#5 Taken from society.

Ill make this one short.

Elementary school is for young people first learning how to learn. High school is for people a little older to get ready to go into the work world, or on to post secondary. However, kids around 11-14 years old are in a strange stage.

During this stage...
Girls are taller, meaner, and going through an identity crisis.
Boys are shorter, squeekier, and more awkward than any other time.
What can we do with them? Thats what junior high is for. We all go through junior high. Hardly any of us actually end up resembling anything we were during our time there. Simply put, we were all sent to junior high to take us away from society during this most confusing time of our life. I agree with the necessity of junior high. Is it for learning? I doubt it. 

#4 No middle stall.

As far as I know, women generally are more sociable than guys and some even love any excuse to go to to the washroom together to talk about… umm… boys… uh… hair… I honestly don't really know. It is true that some guys like to talk, even to other guys, but in a washroom we guys have a certain code we follow.

"No talking, no eye contact, don't choose the middle stall."

This code has been in effect since the beginning of time. It goes on to include other important points regarding which urinals are available at any given time and the no whistling rule. I, along with all others, follow the code without any thought or effort. Some of us, like me, have developed tremendous lung capacity from holding breath throughout the short visit. I can comfortably spend between 1 and 2 minutes holding my breath. It is never appropriate to interact or acknowledge one another while using a urinal.

Recently however, over the holidays, I met a man who did not abide by the code.

Halfway through Tron I went to the washroom and went through the normal routine. There were 4 unoccupied urinal on the left followed by one occupied urinal to the for right. I then, of course, went to us the far left. Then, a man, who I expect was in his mid 30's, went to the middle stall looked over and said, "hey, buddy" and started humming to himself.

What could I do? I was in his sights. I said, "howdy." Then I had no choice but to tilt my head away, close my right eye and meditate until it was all over.

For the last half of the movie I found myself laughing to myself at how incredible it was that I had the opportunity meet one of the 2 guys in Alberta who do not abide to the code. Thank you Mr. Urinal talkers. You are making men around the world uncomfortable.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

#3 The missing movie genre.

Movies are bizarre things. We pay to be entertained and to sometimes experience an abundance of unique emotions. Based on how we feel/want to feel, it is pretty simple to decide what type movie you want to see based on the category they are in…

For example…

- Want laughter = go to a comedy.
- Want to be scared = go to a horror/suspense.
- Want a deep story = go to a drama.
- Want explosions = go to an action/thriller.
….and so on.

However, there is an unseen beast of a category which is not even a category at all. This can be found within ALL other genres. It is an unseen genre that brightens the day for some, but ruins the week for others. It is very sneaky. It is the type of movie that, (based on what it does to me), is meant to kick our mellow in the crotch and make us just want to go home and take a cold shower. What am I talking about? It is the sad/depressing movie. They are everywhere and mixed inside of other movies.

Before I continue, let me explain why I go to movies. I want to be entertained. Do I mind thinking a little? No, I would rather have something a bit complex, as long as it is interesting. In short, I want to leave the theatre excited about what I just watched. I want to be happy. Why would I want to pay to go to a movie, only to be depressed after? I understand that some people live for these movies but I HATE THEM! If I am going to watch a comedy I don't like when they slip in a child with some type of disease, only to see them die at the end. I don't care HOW  much people loved them. It makes me feel gross. The thing that I find so confusing is while the credits are rolling, I look around and there are 2 types of people. 

1. People that look pale because of what they jut watched.
2. People who seem to be happy, because of how sad they are. And those movies end up being their favourite movies of all time. 

These movies truly bother me. They are very sneaky also. I don't mind when there is a problem that is resolved, but I really do not like when I feel sad at the end. It trashes the happy vibe that I would rather have. I do not think that I am insensitive for saying this because clearly these movies have an affect me. All I am saying is, before I go to those movies where I am about to cry, warn me! Things should be rated as follows…

- Thriller/depressing or Thriller/not depressing
- Comedy/depressing or Comedy/not depressing

I love movies. I love music. I love books. Do I like sad movies, music, and books. Not even a little bit. They get rid of my mellow. They muddle up my emotions and I find that confusing that people would want to do that. Just a little warning. That is all some of us want.