Tuesday, February 15, 2011

#20 Coolest kids in Elementary School.

When I was in Elementary school I was awesome! Want to know why?

I was a fast runner! In a game of tag, keep away, etc, I was always a hot commodity. Therefore, I was cool.

Then I got to Junior High and it all changed. Nobody cared anymore. Isn't being good at tag cool anymore? What is wrong with society?!

#19 You can't be 110% sure.

When did society decide that 100% wasn't enough?

We get that people are VERY sure of themselves. So much, in fact, that they somehow muster up an extra 10% with nearly everything they can do.

Hear is the deal. You can have a 110% increase in sales. You can have a 1,000,000% increase in miles ran this month! But you can't be 101% sure, give a 999% effort, or give 110% guarantee. It just doesn't work. We need to draw a line. The math doesn't add up. 100% is 100%.

When people say to rate something from 1 to 10, the number 11 is not an option. It really doesn't kill me that people say this, but, at the same time, once you start noticing, it is hard to stop.

Monday, February 14, 2011

#18 Earphones giving out.

Ok… so it isn't befuddling especially, but it is annoying every time it happens.

One earphone gives out and you need to twist the end of it until it works. Then it eventually comes to a point where you need to be always fiddling with it for it to work. Anyway, isn't it annoying when that happens?

#17 When you can't control your own dreams.

Have you every known you were dreaming, decided to take advantage of it by doing something incredible, like flying, winning a million dollars, or winning an epic ninja battle, but something stopped you?

That happened to me a few days ago. It was during that 15 minute sleep state after your snooze alarm that has very vivid dreams. I realized I was dreaming, and decided that I was going to go out for a little jet pack flight. AWESOME! This was going to be fun. There was only one problem…

I couldn't put my pants on!!! They were like negatively charged magnets for my feet. I just couldn't do it. This went on and on until I woke up, disappointed of course. My awesome flight was cancelled cause I couldn't get out the door with pants on.


Friday, February 11, 2011

#16 A la creme.

Do you know what desert sounds good? Pommes au Four.

Why is that? It has a french name. Even though all it means is Baked Apples, people buy into the fancy names (some more than others). If I had a restaurant and wanted to soak every little penny out of these types of people, this is what I would do.

I would change my menu of...

- Hamburger...............$5.00
- Nachos.....................$7.00
- Vanilla Ice cream.....$4.00

to this....

- Hamberg du yumm..........$10.00
- Ques aux Nach................ $14.00
- Creme a la Creme Vanil...$8.00

Why change the names and jack the prices? Because these people fall for foreign names and will pay for it. It is kinda ridiculous.

Wanna know a good desert? A Dairy Queen Blizzard!

#15 Pro Choice vs Pro Life?

Hmmm… "pro choice" or "pro life"?

Can't I be pro choice AND life?

I don't think it is an issue between the 2. Isn't it about being for or against abortion? Not very fair labels if you ask me.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

#14 Booty and Spill.

There are some people on daytime television that I just cannot watch. I won't say their names but one rhymes with Judge Booty and the other is Dr. Spill.

The reason I can't stand Booty and Spill is that they have people on their shows that clearly already have issues. These people need help. But we all have to remember that what sells on TV. Confrontations and 'belittling' sells. Most of the time the contestants ARE out of their minds but the thing that drives me bonkers is when Booty or Spill gets the whole audience applauding by saying "you better shut your mouth" or "I have a PHD and a Masters, so you better sit and listen."

These people are completely out of their element in the first place. They need help. The last thing they need is an audience full of people applauding at them. The audience selectively hears what the show tells you to hear and tries to get us to loose any compassion we have for people and hate them. Ganging up on people just isn't cool in the first place. It befuddles me that people like to see it happened to others.