Wednesday, January 5, 2011

#4 No middle stall.

As far as I know, women generally are more sociable than guys and some even love any excuse to go to to the washroom together to talk about… umm… boys… uh… hair… I honestly don't really know. It is true that some guys like to talk, even to other guys, but in a washroom we guys have a certain code we follow.

"No talking, no eye contact, don't choose the middle stall."

This code has been in effect since the beginning of time. It goes on to include other important points regarding which urinals are available at any given time and the no whistling rule. I, along with all others, follow the code without any thought or effort. Some of us, like me, have developed tremendous lung capacity from holding breath throughout the short visit. I can comfortably spend between 1 and 2 minutes holding my breath. It is never appropriate to interact or acknowledge one another while using a urinal.

Recently however, over the holidays, I met a man who did not abide by the code.

Halfway through Tron I went to the washroom and went through the normal routine. There were 4 unoccupied urinal on the left followed by one occupied urinal to the for right. I then, of course, went to us the far left. Then, a man, who I expect was in his mid 30's, went to the middle stall looked over and said, "hey, buddy" and started humming to himself.

What could I do? I was in his sights. I said, "howdy." Then I had no choice but to tilt my head away, close my right eye and meditate until it was all over.

For the last half of the movie I found myself laughing to myself at how incredible it was that I had the opportunity meet one of the 2 guys in Alberta who do not abide to the code. Thank you Mr. Urinal talkers. You are making men around the world uncomfortable.

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